In the age of the many identities.

Everywhere you look, the urge to define identities has become so prevalent.

Whether it is in the beauty industry – I just spoke with my sister about this topic. She works in a large beauty corporate group, where new trends are being observed and worked with to marked new products. Identities such as “strawberry girl”, “clean girl”, “cold girl”, “latte girl” – side note, I find the emphasize of “girl” identity astonishing – are being widely talked about.

image from article on strawberry make up in ELLE Magazine

In the fashion industry you can find similar aesthetics, such as tomato girl, dark academia, farm/country/cottage core, ballet core, coastal grandma – interestingly here is not such a strong fixation on girls, but it includes other age groups as well.

image from acticle in NY Times

You can find the same thing as well in the yoga world, where people post Instagram Reels and TikTok videos about yoga styles and teachers being specific type of people and identities. Characterizing them with what they typically wear, eat, how they talk and walk, what astronomical sign they have etc.

Or if you think about all the rage about what gender you identify with, or what your sexual preferences are (why would I need to have the necessity to tell anyone about this in the first place? I mean, who cares besides my partner I share this intimacy with?).

You can also transfer the labeling onto what you eat. Are you vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, gluten free, lactose free, etc.?

In our current world, where we try to be the most tolerant and inclusive, we have created the most divisions and singularities between individuals. Sticking oneself into a labeled box that somehow makes us feel identified, while at the same time it separates us so much from others that the focus on the differences creates a hindered communication and empathy towards others.

It is a normal human necessity to feel part of a community and have people to feel close to, relatable. And many institutions that have played significant roles in society, such as the church or local initiatives, such as cultural or communal institutions have struggled reaching people. For several reasons. This development of searching for an identity that you can relate to and where you fit and belong, that makes your life easier because it gives you guidelines to live by, has been picking up so well. Think of how many women are trying to find their color season, essence and/or your body type in the realms of fashion. Or rules on how to measure your face to know where your eyeliner should go, your contouring, the brows. I am not judging these ideas and approaches, I actually find them somewhat fascinating, but what “irritates” me a bit is this development of boxes and labels, so finely divided into many, that they separate us from each other and confine us at the same time.

I find it more interesting to develop an understanding of yourself in terms of being connected to yourself – in the present, which is not a fix point, but can change and morph, understanding what your interests and values are and where you like to head to in the future. Having an open and curious mind that likes to observe, learn, as well as create. Again, all things that are not fixed. Some develop approaches for this, such as in fashion Allison Bornstein and her 3 words method from where you choose 3 words that describe you best stir a bit into this direction of learning about yourself without labels and boxes.

I like to work in this line of finding the essence of what makes you, for you to feel at ease, confident, satisfied with yourself and focused, so you can create, give and interact with the world outside.

Movement, or better mindful movement as a practice, has been one of the most effective tools, as many of us have lost this physical aspect of being in contact with the body and what you can feel and experience. The body, a membranous body, that constantly interacts with the environment. Most of us have conquered the body with our minds. Still in many yoga classes I have visited, there is still the approach that the mind is stronger than the body and can endure things, even if the body is screaming. If this is your starting point, you won’t understand if your pants or shoes are the wrong size, the wrong cut for you. There is just no alignment with your mind, body and soul. How can you be in harmony? Where is your intuition. Movement is a super effective tool because you receive direct feedback when you are out of touch with your body and do things that are not in harmony with yourself. You can literally feel and see it. That’s why I always come back to the leading question “how do you feel?”.

 *I have a video coming on this topic specifically soon.

It easily brings you in connection with yourself and helps you to create a good foundation and clarity to understanding what you find important, what you want to express and that this can change and grow, just like you do when you age. This approach of “identity” is more about finding a harmony with yourself and an outwards look. A function and activity in the world, rather than going down a rabbit hole of introspection and splitting yourself off from the world and community that surrounds you in your real ife, outside.

This creates a fantastic foundation that you can transfer e.g. onto what you want to wear. You simply put on things you own in your closet and see “how do you feel?” Do the jeans you wear really fit you well, or are they may be a bit too tight? Can you move in them. Do you like you they sit on your body? If so, and you combine it with various different pieces in your closet from tops, shoes, jacket, bags, accessories (even dresses and skirts), what happens? How do you feel? (also, in your mind and soul) Do you feel like you, or like someone/something else? What is your fantasy or inspiration and why? What are the elements that fascinate you? Can you pick this up? What brings you joy in what you just tried out? What made you happy, what feels really good?

Today’s obsessions with having to define ourselves, labelling identities, has us inhibited to approaching ourselves with honesty. Instead, it is a distraction and a very useful marketing tool.

How about coming back to the essence of you? And how does this serve you – where do you want to go? What do you want to express?